Not a lot can be said about Robin that hasn't already been said by people who should know better.

Brought from Remon F.C. to teach Colin how to score own goals, he was the subject of a governmental inquiry into stupidity.

As a defender, he has perfected the goal line save by falling on the ball.

Heroically, Robin took the blame for getting Roger involved in the running of the team, CASSA have issued a reward for him, preferably dead.

Known as the Rudolf Nureyev of the back four, his off-field hobbies include photography, crochet and gibbon stuffing.

Hates mint sauce.