Phil plays anywhere, except on the field, and was our first player to go abroad, but he came back.

He stands 6' 2" and very much alone in his socks, and was recently charged with eight counts of speeding, none of which occurred on the pitch.

Phil has given some sterling service to the team, including the sale of most of the fund raiser tickets, and holds the record for the least number of winners on the fundraiser tickets.

Originally, Phil wanted to be an ear surgeon, which explains why he enjoys poking things into Al Gatter's ear.

Police wish to question him about some tracksuits advertised on Police 5.