You will immediately recognise Graham, as his legs are world famous. Yes, it is the original 7 stone weakling, the 'before' part of the bodybuilding adverts. A talent scout saw him doing his impression of a needle (he closes one eye) and signed him up as a stunt man on 'Match Of The Day' doing stand-in work for the corner flags.

'Legs' has recently taken to wearing 6 shirts when playing because his team-mates complain that they can't see him.

A gifted left winger who played many games on the right, Legs has his boots specially made with lead weights for windy days, and has yet to get wet in the shower.

Off the field, Legs is a hospital porter and part-time xylophone. He is also our only international, being capped twice for Biafra in the World Starving Nations Cup, but he has had a lean time in the goal scoring steaks this season.